Post Partum Depression Sucks the Big One
Damn, this hormone stuff after having Tara 10 months ago is still causing huge problems with my head!
June 1st saw me back at work, which was a good thing I thought. By June 23rd, I had a “nervous breakdown” and took myself to the psyche department at my local hospital. The good news is that I am not really crazy like I thought 
There is a wonderful unit in the women’s health hospital here – the Reproductive Mental Health Unit. I have been under their care since the end of June, thank God. They have been very helpful. Yep, I am on different medications then I was taking when I was first pregnant AND I am still off work. I work with clients and their money – I am terrified to go back to what I was doing. Ethically and morally I am struggling with this. I have been told that my fears are from a lack of confidence, not a lack of ability. Perhaps, but it doesn’t help my fear of screwing up something for a client or the company I work for.
One day at a time I guess. The meds I am now on – Effexor – I have learned are the heavy duty anti-depressant and also help with anxiety which I have a big problem with too. Never did when I was younger, I think it was turning 40 that caused that!
Tara, bless her heart, is a wonderful, happy, healthy 10 month old. My husband has gone back to work after taking some parental leave and I have Tara in daycare during the week. Now that hubby is not around in the day, the daycare does two things – one, Tara gets to spend time with her little friends and learn social skills and two, lets me work on getting better. A happy mom makes for a happy family.
Some days are rougher than others. My husband is the most amazing guy and has been my rock through all of this. Would you believe that alot of husbands are not so supportive of their wives with post partum depression? the psychiatrist at the hospital was very impressed when hubby joined me on my appointments – he said that most wives don’t have the same level of support. One more reason why I am so lucky. Often, I wonder why he hasn’t divorced me since I have been so horrible and bitchy to live with, but he loves me. Always and forever right honey? in sickness and in health……I love you.
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